And The Fearness

ooh no , i cannot sleep well :(

i need some friend to talk to , to share with . the fearness come to me , and its make me stuck to everything . i dont get what i deserve , icant read my mind i cant feel my heart . oh God i feel so dying .

i just opened my friend's blog , then i found one good song from sean lennon who was the favorite my friend's singer . then , the tears fall down from my eyes , i just remembered about what i thought :( its just to hard to read , i want to mend it i dont want to end it . how can i deal with my heart and my mind ? i can feel the war between my heart and my mind . it sucks !

and the fearness come again , make my heart beat so fast . then i text to evrybody , i need someone to wake up . please , i need someone to talk to :( i scared .

maybe , i need some rest i've been using all my emotion along this week . sorry if yesterday i was very annoyed, cause my heart getting hesitate my mind getting fullfilled with the projects and its sucks me . i need some rest for awhile please , im so tired :(

it made me to think , i hope this isn't a game . ive paid so much attention for this , i wont let my life be chaos i dont want to mess up this things .then the fearness is come . i scared , i scared to lose you , i scared to fallin' in love with you , i scared its just too much .i know i am the ruthless and reckless queen.

the fearness is my friend now , what should i do know ? please tell me , should i leave ? should i stay ? should i ...

i didnt mean to hurt you , i didnt mean to ruin you . but i know ,it just happenned . im mess :( i ruin you , i hurt you , i let you stay in the chaos time . sorry .


now im gonna learn , now im gonna pray . so please teach me and i remembered .

now i'll try to close my eyes and vanish all my fearness . and stop reminiscing about my past .